Monday, March 18

“A seat on the Supreme Court? OK, but it’s gonna cost ya, Harv.”

“A seat on the Supreme Court? OK, but it’s gonna cost ya, Harv.”

  • The terrorist attack in New Zealand has reinvigorated the anti-liberty mob in the United States. According to the gun-grabbers, the massacre in Christchurch is proof that the United States needs to revamp its gun laws to ban ownership of AR-15s. Disarming law-abiding Americans to protect against terrorists? I feel safer already. And why not? That logic has worked wonders in Europe.

  • 2020 candidates, and US Senators, Kirsten Gillibrand, Kamala Harris, and Elizabeth Warren have all indicated they hope to expand the number of justices on the Supreme Court. Unable to win the elections required to stack the court with anti-liberty activists, the Democrat leadership pivots to their default strategy: cheat.

  • Gillibrand took her campaign’s anti-liberty message to new territory, telling a small group of supporters that “gun manufacturers only care about gun sales.” And that they “oppose universal background checks because they want to sell an assault rifle to a teenager in a Walmart. Or to someone on the terror watch list or to someone who's gravely mentally ill.”  Gillibrand, who is already trailing the field by a wide margin, declined to define “gravely mentally ill.”  Does she mean it like “thinks Walmart sells guns to teenagers” mentally ill, or more like “Gillibrand has a real chance” mentally ill?

  • Failed Senate – and current Presidential - aspirant Robert “Beto” O’Rourke told an audience Monday that he supports abortion throughout pregnancy, including right up to the moment of birth.  That’s gonna cost him.  The new Democrat litmus test requires support for post-birth abortion.

  • Liberals were devastated when Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar introduced his boyfriend to Vice President Mike Pence over the weekend, and Pence behaved like a perfect gentleman, just like he does all the time.  It’s not that they object to the same-sex pairing, but that Pence didn’t. 

  • Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is facing declining poll numbers nationwide, and she knows why.  According to the communist cutie-pie, who recently celebrated stealing 25,000 jobs and billions of dollars from the people of her home state, those who object to her harebrained schemes like the “green new deal” do so because they’re racist.  I’m sure it’s not at all related to her brazen support of a political theology that has killed more people than AIDS.

  • Disgraced ex-newsreader Dan Rather reappeared this week to inform CNN pundit Brian Stelter that Twitter threatens the public’s access to facts.  According to Rather, the entire platform is a “manure spreader in a windstorm.”  I’m sure Rather misses the good ol’ days, when people had to take his word for it.  I’m sure Mary Mapes does, too.

  • Democrat Party operative Donna Brazile has apparently landed on her feet.  The one-time DNC chair, who was caught trying to rig debates for Hillary Clinton in 2016, has reportedly signed a deal with Fox News to provide commentary for the upcoming elections.  For the 2020 cycle, the part of Alan Colmes will be played by Donna Brazile.

Thursday, March 14

MACA: Make America Creepy Again

MACA: Make America Creepy Again

  • Robert “Beto” O’Rourke made it official Thursday: he’s running for President.  While the media covered his announcement like “Teen Beat” covering a Duran Duran reunion, sensible voters noticed: this guy has literally no concrete platform beyond fighting “climate change.”  Unless you also count being really, really creepy.

  • O’Rourke had better enjoy the spotlight while it lasts.  The moment former Vice President Joe Biden announces, “Beto” is running for VP – at best.  If he’s lucky, Vice President Pence will give him a tour of the East Wing before sending him back to the Hamptons Texas.  That’s assuming Texas will take him back.

  • With O’Rourke’s announcement, the Democrat 2020 field expanded by yet another rich, white, person.  Not much of a campaign slogan: “Vote Beto, at least he’s not old.”

  • House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants to expand the electorate.  In what is probably an effort to appear “woke” to a party which is rapidly deserting her for younger models, the near-octogenarian Pelosi told an audience “I myself have always been for lowering the voting age to 16. I think it's really important to capture kids when they're in high school.”  She wants to “capture” kids who eat laundry detergent?  And then what?  I wouldn’t be shocked if she has a gingerbread house in the woods somewhere.

  • In a surprising 59-41 vote, the US Senate voted to approve a House resolution to terminate President Donald Trump’s declaration of a National emergency over the border crisis.  12 Republicans joined their Democratic counterparts in setting up what will likely be Trump’s first veto – a veto the Senate is unlikely to be able to override.  I don’t know the total number of tax dollars wasted on this quibbling, but it could have taken a chunk out of the budget for the wall.

  • Air raid sirens wailed in Tel Aviv when islamofascists in Gaza fired rockets into the Israeli city.  Fortunately, Israel’s “Iron Dome” missile defense system activated, taking out at least one of the inbound missiles, and no casualties reported.  Reps. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib released a joint statement deploring Israel’s use of US aid money to assault innocent Palestinian artillery.

  • A divided Connecticut State Supreme Court has ruled that firearms manufacturer Remington can be sued by victims of terrorists who use the company’s Bushmaster line of rifles to commit their crimes.  Auto and cell phone makers should brace for the flood of lawsuits by people who lost family members to texting and driving, because it’s coming, Clyde!

Don’t forget to catch the Last Pod on the Right, coming Friday!

Wednesday, March 13

♫ He’s got sunbu-u-urn, on a cloudy day!♬

♫ He’s got sunbu-u-urn, on a cloudy day!♬

  • Here comes Beto! Failed Texas Senate candidate Robert “Beto” O’Rourke appears to be setting the stage for a Presidential pronouncement, dropping hints on social media, and sitting for a fawning interview with supermarket checkout stand tabloid “Vanity Fair.”  The fake Latino immediately jumped to the top of the Democrats’ 2020 pile, because nothing says “woke” like a skinny creep who’s so white, he makes Conan O’Brien look like a Zulu impi.

  • The list of things Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t understand got a little longer.  The communist cutie-pie launched a bizarre attack on Wells Fargo CEO Tim Sloan during a House Financial Services Committee, blaming the bank for “financing the caging of children” and even spills from the Dakota Access Pipeline, because it financed some of the companies involved in detaining illegals, and operating the pipeline.  If we’re going with Chiquita Khrushchev’s “guilt by association” rules, banks could be held liable for drunk driving accidents by people for whom they financed car purchases.  Downside: no more car loans.  Upside: Beto O’Rourke has fled from his last DUI.

  • As the bribery scandal surrounding college and university admissions processes expands, it’s hard to ignore how many high-profile democrats, like actress - and Hillary Clinton superfan - Felicity Huffman are getting caught in the debacle.  Rich, white, liberals, gaming the system while demanding stricter rules for everyone else.  Yep, that sounds like the Hillary Clinton playbook.

  • The Democrats’ anti-Semitism scandal deepened this week when Belén Sisa, the deputy press secretary for Senator Bernie Sanders’ 2020 Presidential campaign, fired off a trope worthy of disgraced Rep. Ilhan Omar.  In a now-deleted Facebook post, the senior Sanders aide asked whether the “American-Jewish community has a dual allegiance to the state of Israel.”  But solving the Sisa problem is easy.  The anti-Semitic Sanders surrogate is also an illegal alien.  I wanna be there when Bernie calls ICE on his own deputy spokeshole.

  • Congressman John Ratliffe (R-TX) has confirmed that disgraced former FBI lawyer Lisa Page confirmed “under oath that the FBI was ordered by the Obama DOJ not to consider charging Hillary Clinton for gross negligence in the handling of classified information.”  Whattya know? Turns out there was "collusion" to rig the 2016 election, just not involving Trump and Russia.

  • Media Matters for America’s plan to bring down Fox News host Tucker Carlson hit a snag.  While they tried to gin up outrage over Carlson’s crude remarks from over a decade past, it came out that MMFA’s own high priest, Angelo Carusone, has a long history of homophobic and racist remarks of his own, including digs at “Japs” and “Trannies.”  The liberal hate group refused to acknowledge their honcho’s problematic history, because – um – it isn’t racist when they do it?

Tuesday, March 12

What? Me, Worry?

What? Me, Worry?

  • The Obama Administration’s efforts to protect Hillary Clinton from justice may have gone farther than even her biggest detractors were aware.  According to a new report by the Washington Examiner, disgraced FBI lawyer Lisa Page told Congress that the FBI was considering charging Mrs. Clinton with “gross negligence” for her infamous mishandling of classified information, but the Justice Department – then headed by Attorney General Loretta Lynch – squashed the investigation.  I guess Lynch and Hillary’s husband really did discuss more than just golf and grandkids during that meeting on the tarmac.

  • When anti-Semitic Congresswoman Ilhan Omar faced some fire from the left last week for equating former President Obama’s “caging of kids” and “droning of countries around the world” with President Donald Trump, she returned to familiar rhetorical territory to slither free.  As the scandal-plagued Omar explained the difference between Obama and Trump: "One is human. The other is really not."  To be fair to Omar, she has always had trouble pronouncing "untermensch."

  • Omar’s BFF, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez enjoyed some headlines of her own.  The commie cutie-pie, still reeling from a campaign finance scandal, falsely attacked one of the individuals who helped break the story about her shady fiscal dealings; and then followed up by inciting the liberal rage mob by calling Republicans enemies of the State, gleefully tweeting: “It’s been GOP vs. the people of the United States for almost my entire life.” We all know how this story ends: on a baseball field, with a liberal shooting at Republican Congresspersons.

  • Another of Rep. Omar’s friends – Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khameini – made some waves of his own on Twitter.  Khameini went full “#MeToo,”: “Western civilization’s major sin committed against women cannot be erased anytime soon, nor can it be compensated for or even elaborated on.”  Why can’t we be more feminist, like Iran, where they literally flog women in public for showing too much ankle?

  • A major scandal in high education as multiple universities, including Ivy League schools like Yale, have been caught up in a pay-to-play scam.  Wealthy parents have been arrested for their part in a scheme which involved as much as $25,000,000 in bribes to score admission for their children.  Imagine dropping that kind of cash on indoctrinating your kid into liberal dogma.  They could’ve saved themselves $24,999,997; Amazon sells copies of the Communist Manifesto for 3 bucks.

  • Meanwhile, those same schools will continue to profit off their athletes’ likenesses while ruining their lives if they accept a free meal at McDonald’s.  They might as well just make college free; it’s already worth that much.

  • Someone remind the ACLU that all the civil liberties in the world don’t mean squat if you’re dead.  The self-proclaimed defenders of our civil liberties has taken up the anti-life cause, releasing a “hit list” of states in which the lives of the unborn are still considered worth defending.  The group specifically targeted Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Ohio, and Tennessee as “states trying to ban abortion.”  They say that like it’s a bad thing.

Monday, 11 March

ilhan valentines day.PNG
  • When Fox News analyst Jeanine Pirro asked Rep. Ilhan Omar’s wearing of a hijab “indicative of her adherence to Sharia law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution,” she earned support from an unexpected ally – Omar.  The anti-Semitic freshmuslim Congressperson said “No one’s commitment to our constitution should be questioned because of their faith or country of birth.”  That remark put Omar at odds with – Ilhan Omar – who questioned Jews’ loyalty to America just 10 days ago.

  • Looks like Democrat wonderboy Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke is throwing his hat in the Presidential ring.  An NBC report claims O’Rourke has hired a campaign manager, and an announcement is closer than ever.  That clown car is getting kinda crowded.  Beto should probably just ride his skateboard.

  • O’Rourke isn’t the only Democrat thinking about jumping in the Presidential end of the pool.  Stacey Abrams, who managed to lose the Georgia governor’s race despite endorsements from liberal powerhouse Oprah Winfrey, told the SXSW festival attendees that “2020 is definitely on the table.”  Well good.  At least “Beto” can go in knowing he won’t finish last.

  • The Democrats have figured out one part of their 2020 plan.  They announced that their 2020 convention will be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  2-time Presidential failure Hillary Clinton should get into the race; not because she can win, but because she’ll finally get to visit Wisconsin.

  • After the liberal hate group Media Matters for America dredged up some unfortunate remarks by Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson – from nearly a decade past – liberal astroturfers pushed for his termination.   That’s a neat trick for people who think Ralph Northam, Ilhan Omar, Justin Fairfax, Joy Reid, and Sarah Jeong should keep their jobs. I’d at least wait until MSNBC tracks down Joy Reid’s time-travelling hackers.

  • Communist Congress-cutie Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez attended SXSW this weekend to hurl the usual nonsense at the adoring crowd, she added a new line, calling capitalism “irredeemable.”  Nothing says “woke” like a communist getting applause for blasting capitalism at a corporate-sponsored event.

 

 

Photo Lulz:

The passing of the hammer & sickle.

The passing of the hammer & sickle.

A memory of happier times, before the three younger women yanked the rug out from under the feet of Gam-Gam Nan. AOC <under her breath>: Hope you enjoyed your run, you old bat.

Fun fact: The political theologies represented in this photograph have killed more people than AIDS, Ebola, and the Spanish Flu - combined.

Thursday, March 7th

♬ Ebony and Iv-o-ry ♪ Go together in perfect big-o-try! ♫

♬ Ebony and Iv-o-ry ♪ Go together in perfect big-o-try! ♫

  • Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) may be bringing Nazi back, but her Democrat party colleagues aren’t letting it go without some strong-ish words.  After their new progressive leadership balked at condemning anti-Semitism, the Dems finally settled on the language of a resolution which mentions the Jews 7th among groups facing hate speech.  Omar wanted them ranked lower, but the only group left was straight, white guys.

  • As the House Democrats lined up to protect Omar from any consequences for being a rabid anti-Semite, observers couldn’t help but note the last time a party calling for more government defended rabid anti-Semites, that party ended up making more government = building Auschwitz.

  • Among the excuses offered in defense of Omar’s hate speech: That she’s from a different culture, and was unaware that her beliefs are bigoted.  They’re going with "a 37 year old who has lived in the US for 25 years, and had the intellectual wherewithal to successfully run for Congress, was unaware that anti-Semitism is frowned upon in this establishment."  She’s an overly-sheltered idiot. Just what we need on the House Foreign Relations Committee. 

  • If the Democrats have learned anything from this debacle, it’s not “anti-Semitism is bad.”  In fact, Ocasio-Cortez is using it to raise money.  In a new mailer, AOC grubs for cash by warning against a Jew-led conspiracy. According to Ocasio-Cortez, the Jews “are coming after Alexandria, Ilhan, and Rashida.”  Chiquita Khrushchev needs the money to keep them from poisoning the wells.

  • Gotta give Omar credit, though.  Her hatred of Jews has earned endorsements from professional bigots David Duke and Louis Farrakhan.  Uniting those two garbage piles in one dumpster! I feel like they might be taking this whole “intersectional” thing a little too far.

  • Coming just days after their endorsement of Ocasio-Cortez’s insane “Green New Deal,” the Democrats’ decision to back Omar casts a pall over the leadership of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.  In the weeks since she retook the gavel, the Democrats have gone from Clapback Nancy to Chiquita Khrushchev and the anti-Semites in short order.  Forget “passing the baton,” it’s the passing of the hammer and sickle.

  • Senator Sherrod Brown (D-OH) announced today that he has decided against running for President.  In a related story, Senator Sherrod Brown is a person, and was considering running for President.

  • Rumors of the demise of 2-time Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s ambitions, however, appear to have been exaggerated.  The doddering never-was, whose earlier remarks indicated an end to her quixotic quest, now says she hasn’t “closed the door” on another run.  But that’s only because she can’t reach the door from her Hoveround™.  Besides, being President would cancel out eating the early-bird special at the Kountry Kitchen.

  • According to former President Barack Obama, “We left office without a scandal.”  Eric Holder, Jon Gruber, Lois Lerner, Ayatollah Ali Khameini, and Raul Castro released a joint statement in support of the assertion: “That checks out.”  Ambassador Chris Stevens, Glen Doherty, Sean Smith & Tyrone Woods were unavailable for comment.

Wednesday, March 6

“We’re bringing Nazi back!”

“We’re bringing Nazi back!”

  • The Democrat Party put a stop to anti-Semitic Rep. Ilhan Omar’s latest antics, by almost resolving to condemn anti-Semitism.  The potential House move against the bigoted freshman Congressperson stalled out when more liberal House members, including the Congressional Black Caucus, objected.  Phew! That was close! Almost admitted the Jews are people.

  • The addition of anti-Semitism to the Dems’ 2020 platform was not without hiccups, though.  According to Politico, tensions ran high in a closed-door session in which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was challenged by, and ran away from, the pro-Omar youngsters in the House; ultimately dropping the microphone and leaving with “Well if you’re not going to listen to me, I’m done talking..”  They may be anti-Semitic communists; but give the new Democrat leadership credit: they shut Pelosi up.

  • Pelosi moved on to her current cause du jour: reanimating the corpse of “Net Neutrality.” Flanked by other Democrats old enough to predate color television, the near-octogenarian Pelosi introduced the “Save the Internet Act.”   "Save" it for whom? I thought she said everyone was gonna die back when “Net Neutrality” ended.

  • Less than 2 months after President Donald Trump vowed to withdraw US troops from Syria, he told a group of legislators who want to maintain a US presence in the war-torn Islamic state that he agrees “100%” with their strategy.  He ran off Mattis over this, and now he’s reversing course?  Totes worth it.

  • DNC chairhole - and avowed socialist - Tom Perez has announced the Democrats will exclude Fox News from their 2020 freakshow over what they contend is excessive rightward bias.  The GOP, meanwhile, will continue inviting NBC, CNN, CBS, etc. to their events, because they're not whiny children.

  • Just days after Venezuela’s socialist dictator, Nicolas Maduro, created an international uproar when he detained and then expelled liberal activist Jorge Ramos, another journo has been arrested in the failing South American state.  Wednesday morning, Maduro’s henchmen abducted American reporter Cody Weddle for covering the return to Venezuela of interim President Juan Guaido.  American media flacks deplored the arrest, while maintaining support for Maduro’s socialist colleagues in the US, because socialists are irony-proof.

Tuesday, March 5

OMG! Hypocrisy burgers are - like - totes delish!"

OMG! Hypocrisy burgers are - like - totes delish!"

  • New reports indicate Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s chief of staff, left wing political activist Saikat Chakrabarti used her campaign fundraising structure to funnel nearly $1 Million of donations into his own shady companies.  I thought AOC promised us she’d be – like – totes transparent and not all involved with “dark money.”  Of course, she also wants to eliminate cows, so.. Hey, maybe the U.S. House of Representatives isn’t the best place for this idiot to act out her dream journal.

  • But Chiquita Khrushchev isn’t gonna stop with ridding the world of bovine flatulence, she’s moving on that other evil child of capitalism: shopping bags: “I can be upset that I get ten plastic bags at the grocery store and then have to toss out my plastic bags because the recycling program in the area is tough, and that’s ok."  It hasn’t even occurred to her that she could simply not use the plastic bags.  I didn’t know they still had plastic bags at Whole Foods.

  • AOC is also helping to circle the wagons around anti-Semitic Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Mogadishu), even managing to get “#IStandWithIlhan” trending on Twitter.  The civilized world, 1945: Every time we try to exterminate the Jews, a sh*t-ton of people die, and they're still here. Seems like it's just a bad idea all around.  The Democrat/media complex, 2019: Hang on now; there's room for discussion.

  • No more Nana to kick around: Two-time failed Democrat Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced she will not seek her party’s nomination in 2020. She just can’t stay awake that long anymore.

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) told CNN interviewer David Axelrod that she’s sorry for her attempts to pitch her teepee on Native Americans’ happy hunting grounds: "I'm not a person of color. I am not a citizen of a tribe. But what I try to do is be a good friend to Native Americans."  She falsely appropriated their cultural struggles to survive near-annihilation for profit.  Kinda glad I'm not one of her "good friends." What does she do to her "best friend?" Oh right - forces him to appear in painfully awkward campaign vids.

  • Attorneys for Cristhian Bahena Rivera, the illegal alien accused of kidnapping and killing University of Iowa student Mollie Tibbetts, say his trial should be moved to another county to allow for more minority representation in the jury pool.  Where are they gonna find a jury pool with a high percentage of homicidal illegal aliens, Mexico City?

  • Social justice warriors are calling “out” on a plan to have Will Smith star as Williams family patriarch Richard Williams in an upcoming biopic about the tennis superstars Venus and Serena Williams.  Their complaint? That Smith isn’t as dark-skinned as Williams, which is somehow racist.  Having solved all the other problems of race in this country, the woke mob tackles the question of whether a black guy is black enough to play another black guy.  Rosa Parks would move to the back of the bus in disgust.

Monday, 4 March

Somebody’s got mommy issues..

Somebody’s got mommy issues..

  • While AOC threatens the rest of America with communist fever dreams, she’s having trouble hanging on to supporters at home.  The Daily Mail is reporting that Chiquita Khrushchev’s own mother abandoned New York for Florida in order to lower her property tax bill from $10,000/year to only $600/year.  If you think that’s funny, consider this: she left AOC back in New York.

  • Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Californistan) says the Democrats will introduce a bill reinstating Net Neutrality.  The so-called “Save the Internet Act” will reportedly drop Wednesday, which Pelosi says will protect the online world from continuing to work seamlessly and without government interference.  Who will this benefit? According to Pelosi, we all died when Net Neutrality was repealed.

  • Responding to the clarion call from – someone, I guess –  former Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper has announced he’ll be staking a claim to a spot in the Democrat Party’s 2020 clown car.  Hickenlooper, who is perhaps best known for a series of anti-liberty “gun control” measures so onerous, they drove major manufacturers like Magpul Industries to abandon his state, is sure to score tens, if not dozens, of supporters in the already-crowded field.  That’s provided they don’t move to Wyoming, since that’s where the jobs went.

  • Senator Bernie Sanders (C-The People’s Republic of Vermont) is campaigning on threats.  The only candidate old enough to have met Karl Marx told a mob of supporters in Chicago "We are not only going to defeat Trump -- we're going to transform the United States of America."  I’ve seen what Bernie wants to transform America into.  You can too, although I wouldn’t recommend it.  Travel to Venezuela isn’t all that safe.

  • Despite being repeatedly called out for consistent anti-Semitism, Congressjihadi Ilhan Omar (D-Mogadishu, MN) ended up on the pointy end of an official rebuke by the House of Representatives Monday for yet another round of anti-Semitic remarks.  Guess her “apology” had an expiration date. 

  • New York State Senator Jessica Ramos has condemned millions of Americans to her own personal GITMO, tweeting “The NRA is hereby recognized as terrorist organization... in my book anyway.” That’s nice.  I have a book, too.  It’s called “The Bill of Rights,” and it says your book isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.  I’m kinda surprised she has a book.  Hell, I’m kinda surprised she can read.

  • According to a new study by the MIT Technology Review, “We have 12 years to make the urgent changes needed to avoid extreme heat, drought, floods, and poverty.”  We’ve had extreme heat, droughts, floods, and poverty since before we had names for them.  And I remember the first time I heard this kind of warning.  That was way back when they still called it "global cooling."  Like, 2 names ago.

  • A new bill in the Californistan state legislature would ban the practice of animal dissection in public and private schools.  The Replacing Animals In Science Education, or RAISE Act, would excuse schoolkiddies from participating in “the viewing of the, or act of, dismembering or otherwise destructive use of an invertebrate or vertebrate animal, as specified, in the study of biological sciences..”  So no more slicing up earthworms in Cali.  However, the viewing of the, or act of, dismembering or otherwise destructive use of human babies, AKA abortion, will remain unrestricted.  Gotta give the kiddies something to do instead of 3rd period biology class.

You poor, spooky, bastard.

The only way this creep and AOC meet in a sentence would be at his sentencing.

The only way this creep and AOC meet in a sentence would be at his sentencing.

Twitter user @Eddieristo1 shared this image of a tattoo of Chiquita Khrushchev on his calf. If you think that’s creepy, go find him after he finishes puberty, and it looks like Rashida Tlaib. Better yet, go find him in 25 years, when it looks like Rosa DeLauro.

Thursday, 28 February

“Ask him if he’s ever eaten people.”

“Ask him if he’s ever eaten people.”

  • President Donald Trump’s summit with North Korean tyrant Kim Jong Un in Vietnam ended without a firm deal on ensuring peace on the Korean peninsula.  American Democrats celebrated, because siding with a homicidal totalitarian dictator is their new thing.  And why not? It worked wonders for Nicolas Maduro. 

  • Liberal observers tried piling on by pointing to what they consider former President Obama’s foreign policy successes, like how he never shamed himself by meeting with the Iranian Ayatollah.  He just airmailed him a couple hundred billion dollars.  What a badass.

  • Of course, Trump had to stick his thumb in his own eye, vouching for the diminutive dictator regarding the North Korean murder of Otto Warmbier: “He tells me that he didn't know about it, and I will take him at his word."  When I think “credible,” I think of the 3rd generation of the world’s murder-iest family.

  • While I get the general idea behind it, whoever heard First Lady of Virginia Pam Northam suggest "let's give cotton to the kiddies who tour the Governor’s mansion” should be the most fired person in history.  "Sure, First Lady of Blackface, the optics of you handing cotton to a black kid couldn't be better timed."

  • The democrats patted themselves on the back after the House passed H.R. 8, an anti-liberty bill designed to make felons out of otherwise law-abiding citizens.  The bill – which is expected to face a firing squad in the Senate, would equate my father for giving me his Rizzini 12 gauge to an MS-13 thug giving a Tec-9 to one of his homies.  Having fired that weapon, I can honestly say: “totally worth it.”

  • Critics of the bill, including Rep. Dan Crenshaw (Complete and utter badass – TX), pointed out that despite the anti-liberty mob’s exploitation of terrorist incidents like Parkland and Sandy Hook to sell H.R. 8, it would have done nothing to prevent them.  Broke: “Stand your ground” laws.  Woke: “The Run and Hide Bill.”  Joke: Criminals won’t give a damn, either way.

  • She may not understand the Constitution, Congress, or even her own job, but that doesn’t mean communist Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) can handle criticism.  The delicate flower hit the ceiling Thursday when the Wall Street Journal pointed out that she appears to “take pride” in her ignorance, whining that the WSJ ignores the “science” of so-called “climate change,” and even the “targeting of indigenous peoples.” Chiquita Khrushchev also failed to note how those unsupported allegations are even relevant.  She also failed to note her own political theology - communism - has killed more people than AIDS.

  • AOC’s besties, Reps. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) and Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) are still bringing nazi back.  During a hate group meeting at a D.C. area bar, the two anti-Semitic congresswomen giggled proudly when audience members cheered their previous anti-Semitic hate speech, including Omar’s inexcusable “it’s all about the Benjamins” slur.  Remember when they apologized for hating the Jews?  Me too.  They don’t. 

Wednesday, 27 February

The nothingburger delivery man is here!

The nothingburger delivery man is here!

  • The Democrat/media complex did their level best to avoid talking about President Donald Trump’s historic summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.  While Trump is in Vietnam trying to end almost 80 years of unremitting hostilities on the Korean peninsula, they’ve turned to acting like Michael Cohen is suddenly the Oracle at Delphi.  This is why they're never hungry for real news, they fill up on nothingburgers.

  • Christine Blasey Ford: “I am the least credible witness the Dems can possibly dredge up.”  Michael Cohen: “B*tch, please.”

  • Cohen swore under oath that he was never in Prague; which pretty much axe-murdered the Democrats’ whole "dossier"-collusion narrative.  Welp, that's our show, kids!  You've been a terrific audience!  Tip your waiters and try the veal!

  • Anti-Semitic Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) used her time during the Cohen hearings to - launch a racist tirade at Republican Congressman Mark Meadows (R-NC) and Dept of Housing and Urban Development Administrator Lynne Patton, even going so far as to describe Patton as a “prop” for Meadows. Tlaib got so out of hand, Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD) loudly defended Meadows and Patton. Tlaib should stick with just hating Jews. She doesn’t have enough game to go full bigot.

  • If you enjoyed watching the Dems choke down the Michael Cohen nothingburger, just wait until Mueller's findings drop.  That's gon' be a big ol' pile of prime nothingrib.

  • Anti-liberty activists cheered Wednesday when the Democrat-controlled House passed a bill which would require so-called “universal background checks.”  But their glee was muted by the Dems’ failure to downvote a provision which would require notification of authorities if an illegal alien tries to purchase a firearm.  Bad news for the gun-grabbers, the Democrats just confirmed they care more about protecting illegal aliens from the law than they do “the children” from “gun violence.”

  • Liberals threw quite a tantrum Tuesday night after someone snapped a photo of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and one of her minions dining out.  Her fans were outraged over the invasion of her privacy.  Really? Different privacy rules cover Chiquita Khrushchev? Is that because she thinks she’s “the boss?

  • Those mythical AOC-only privacy rules must come from the same rulebook as her “Green New Deal.  It says us normal people must give up red meat.  In the “controversial” picture, she’s eating hamburgers.  I'd feel bad for her if the libs hadn't spent the last couple years cheering each other on for harassing conservatives in public. You helped make this sh*tburger, Chiquita Khrushchev. Now you gotta eat it.

Tuesday, 26 February

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  • With global warmists like Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shrieking that the earth has only a dozen years left due to the looming “climate crisis,” a House Natural Resources subcommittee hearing on climate change, which would have been its first of 2019, was cancelled Tuesday because not enough Democrats showed up.  I guess the “climate crisis” wasn’t as bad as we’d been led to believe. 

  • Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper will sign a measure which hands his state’s electoral votes to the winner of the national popular vote, adding another state to the growing group looking to obviate the electoral college.  That feeling when you're so woke, you outsource your vote to Californistan.

  • Democrats continued pushing their belief that abortion should be legal AFTER birth.  Remember when we used to joke that the anti-life lobby would eventually endorse post-birth "abortion?"  Ain't so funny now.

  • The woman who assaulted a man wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat inside a Cape Cod Mexican restaurant has been arrested, but not by local authorities.  Turns out, she’s an illegal alien, and her new fame as a Democrat heroine caught the attention of ICE.  Vaya con Dios, Chiquita!

  • As India and Pakistan started shooting at each other again over the disputed Kashmiri region, Tim Roemer, who served as Obama’s Ambassador to India, took to CNN to discuss disgraced ex-Trump lawyer Michael Cohen.  Right, because nothing else important is happening in the India area right now.  "Sanjay! Stop firing the 130mm at the Pakis, and come watch that “Tim” idiot we met a couple years back lead a riveting discussion about a lawyer who managed to be too sleazy for Trump."

  • Disgraced former Ambassador Madeline Albright told a House intelligence committee hearing Tuesday that she owed an apology to Mitt Romney for mocking him in 2012 when he characterized Russia as America’s biggest geopolitical foe. Albright just admitted that if Romney had won in 2012, all of this bullsh*t could have been avoided. Thanks for nuthin, Maddie.

  • When he didn’t like the direction of the interview being conducted by liberal activist Jorge Ramos, Venezuelan socialist dictator Nicolás Maduro did what communists always do: he arrested him and confiscated his gear.  Although Ramos was later released, the incident put US Democrats in a tough spot.  They love Ramos's liberal pseudo-journalism, but they also love Maduro for being a communist.

  • And, with Trump’s summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un set to begin in Vietnam, Democrats are none too happy.  Apparently, they’re worried he might negotiate a peaceful resolution to nearly 75 years of unrelenting hostilities on the Korean peninsula.  Former President Bill Clinton is said to be beside himself with rage.  “I gave his daddy all that money for nukes, and now he’s considering spending it on feeding his people?”

Monday, 25 February

“If we kill all the hungry people, then we won’t need food.  It’s a brilliant plan!”

“If we kill all the hungry people, then we won’t need food. It’s a brilliant plan!”

  • With socialism (communism) surging to control of the Democrat Party, their ideological brethren in Venezuela are giving the world a live look at what kind of paradise socialism has in store for the world.  The illegitimate Maduro regime did their part when they opened fire on an aid convoy trying to deliver food to the starving nation, destroying trucks filled with food and medicine, and killing a 14-year old, among others.  American Democrats overlooked the violence, probably because it jibes nicely with their new belief in post-birth abortion.

  • As socialism turns Venezuela into a failed state, socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (S-VT) of Vermont is worried that “The people of Venezuela are enduring a serious humanitarian crisis.” Grandpa Potemkin neglected to mention how the people of Venezuela could be3 enduring a humanitarian crisis after 13 years of his beloved socialism.

  • Not all the Democrats are feelin’ the Bern about Venezuela.  Multiple Democrat heavyweights, including Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy (D-of course) objected to Sanders’ condemnation of the Maduro regime’s excesses, with Murphy claiming the humanitarian aid convoys are actually a secret plot to lay “a pretext for war.”  Good plan, Democrats.  Side with the homicidal communists who have turned a resource-rich paradise into another communist hellhole. 

  • President Donald Trump wants to throw a “bigly” party for America.  He’s planning a monster bash for July 4th – a purely coincidental choice, no doubt.  Imma suggest a title: “Independence Day.” 

  • The Democrats don’t like Trump’s 4th of July plans. Nice to see them taking a break from cheering the dictator shooting people in Venezuela for trying to feed the starving victims of socialism.

  • Disgraced former Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) crawled out from under his rock to whine that Trump makes him all misty for the good old days of President George W. Bush.  Yeah, the good old days, before Reid’s abhorrent behavior cost his party the Senate Majority.

  • During a bizarre livestreamed rant from her kitchen, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (S-NY) declared opponents of her “Green New Deal” should remain silent, because she’s “the boss” now.  The silly communist also questioned whether “it’s ok to have children” amidst a “climate crisis.”  While someone should explain to Chiquita Khrushchev that being a Congresswoman makes her the “boss” of no one, I think we can all support Chiquita Khrushchev and the other global warmists not having kids. 

  • The leftist rag “The New Republic” jumped on the AOC express, suggesting having children is “immoral,” and asking “If the looming 12-year deadline to confront climate change is missed, what purpose could life have in the face of an unavoidable, collective downfall?”  On an equally science-y note, if evil space lizards from Neptune invade this weekend, what effect will that have on St. Patrick’s Day?

  • Off to the Connecticut state indoor track and field championships, where the top two spots in the girls’ 55-meter dash were claimed by transgender athletes.  I’m sure letting boys compete in the girl’s events seems like a good idea; at least, it will, until dudes in drag dominate everything in women’s sports.

  • And, the 2019 Academy Awards are in the books.  Some people won some stuff, and Spike Lee threw a tantrum.  Beyond that – I got nuthin’.

Thursday, 21 February

Upside: Nice to see an American scam Nigerians for once.

Upside: Nice to see an American scam Nigerians for once.

  • Among the new details we’ve learned about the Jussie Smollett case: He paid the Osundairo brothers with a back-dated check for $3500.  This dude is one of the hippest, “wokest,” people out there, and he still writes paper checks?  What the hell did he put on the “memo” line? “For: A really ill-conceived hoax?”

  • Senator Kamala Harris’s (D-CA) Presidential campaign made a stop in New York Thursday so she could confab with disgraced MSNBC pundit Al Sharpton.  I bet that was an interesting lunch.  “Wow Kammy, that Jussie Smollett thing really blew up in your face, huh?”  “Tell me about, Tawana-boy.”

  • Among the Democrats trying hard to forget Smollett’s name, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ), whose own presidential ambitions were dinged by his loud support for Smollett, including a tweet in which he called the now-exposed hoax a “modern-day lynching,” and demanded support for a federal anti-lynching law.  Maybe Cory doesn’t know lynching is already super-illegal, and maybe he doesn’t know that tweet is still up.  To be fair, “T-Bone” handles the social media.

  • Democrats are not happy that CNN has hired former GOP strategist Sarah Isgur as an editor for their upcoming 2020 election coverage, whining that a political operative with no journalistic credibility will damage the media’s reputation.  George Stephanopolous, Chris Matthews, and Chelsea Clinton were unavailable for comment. 

  • Speaking of CNN, their pundit Don Lemon told a panel last night that the whole debacle unfolding in Chicago isn’t Jussie Smollett’s fault.   But people are worried Sarah Isgur will damage their credibility.

  • A federal judge in Miami has ruled that Bill Clinton crony Jeffrey Epstein assaulted at least 30 girls in Florida, elsewhere in the U.S, and overseas between 1999 and 2007, and that Federal prosecutors violated his victims’ rights by lying to them about the plea deal Epstein was granted.  Oh, I bet ol’ Bubba is really looking forward to when the feds start digging through passenger manifests for the “Lolita Express.”

  • Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez spiked the ball again Thursday, celebrating having run Amazon out of New York.  AOC crowed that the “$500+ million in capital grants” and “$2.5 billion in tax breaks” could now be spent on “public use,” and as a “tax break” for “working people.”  She’s apparently unaware that that’s not how tax breaks and capital grants work; there’s not a $3 billion pile of cash, just sitting around.  Furthermore, Amazon would have brought 25,000 jobs and close to $30 billion in tax revenue to New York; meaning she just cost her home state a bunch of “working people,” and about $27 billion dollars in lost money.  I’m starting to think a BU economics degree is worth almost as much as Chiquita Khrushchev’s boyfriend.

Wednesday, February 20

Putting one more round in Wednesday’s headlines:

And the fake Oscar goes to…

And the fake Oscar goes to…

  • Chicago Police are reportedly now describing Jussie Smollett as a suspect for his alleged construction of an elaborate hoax in which he played the victim of a homophobic hate crime.  Smollett may still have a job on the TV show “Empire,” but it might get tricky to shoot his scenes from inside a cell. 

  • The saga of the “ISIS bride” continued this week, as Hoda Mothana, who left Alabama to join the islamofascist terrorist group, continued to beg to be allowed to come home.  The jihadi now claims to regret moving to the “caliphate,” and promises she’ll be good if allowed to return.  Well, I’m super-sorry terrorism camp sucks. 

  • Mothana has friends in high places, though.  The islamofascist hate group CAIR, which has been repeatedly linked to muslim terrorists, is taking up her case pro bono.  How long before Reps. Omar and Tlaib – both connected to CAIR, start singing her praises.  And how long after that before the other liberals notice what CAIR and ISIS both think should happen to LGBT people and women who don’t want to dress like beekeepers?

  • When left-wing hate group “MoveOn.org” set up near the White House to protest against border security, their headline speaker was none other than disgraced liberal activist Nathan Phillips.  Irony meters spiked worldwide when a Fake combat veteran decried a “fake” border crisis.

  • Phillips wasn’t the only one getting his fraud on.  Senator Elizabeth Warren told an interviewer a border wall would be a “monument to hate,” and that troubles on the border are “fake.”  You’d think Fauxcahontas” would be better at spotting a phony.

  • Reports out of the swamp indicate Attorney General William Barr will announce the completion of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s 2 year long probe into Russian election hacking.  Considering leaks already suggest Mueller didn’t manage to link President Donald Trump to Russian electoral malfeasance, and Mueller hasn’t made use of a grand jury in nearly a month, sounds like the Democrats better get ready for disappointment.  Mueller's about to find out what life is like on the business end of the liberal rage mob. I’ll bet Adam Schiff is already drafting his denunciation.

  • President Trump’s announcement of a global effort to decriminalize homosexuality is being met with pushback from – LGBT supporters?  Multiple gay rights groups are demonizing Trump’s plan, because – um – reasons?  The far left “Human Rights Campaign” even asserted, without evidence, that Trump has “consistently worked to undermine the fundamental equality of LGBTQ people.”  Liberals embracing homophobia to own the cons.  It’s a bold strategy, Cotton.

  • Liberals are outraged that struggling news net CNN has hired longtime Republican player Sarah Isgur as a political editor in advance of the 2020 campaign.  Their main bone of contention: Isgur is a professional political operative, not a journalist.  Sounds like she’ll fit right in.

  • Among those feeling the butthurt over CNN’s personnel move: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), who shrieked “are we still pretending that hires like these are evidence of a meritocracy?”  Apparently, Chiquita Khrushchev is unaware that CNN isn’t a “meritocracy.”  She ought to count herself lucky that Congress isn’t, either.  When did the Democrats decide attacking the media is kosher?  I thought criticizing our brave journalists was a threat to the Republic.

Tuesday, February 19

Putting today’s headlines in the crosshairs:

-          Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) has announced he’ll be running for the Democrat Party’s 2020 Presidential nomination.  The ancient communist’s declaration means that not only is the Democrat clown car getting seriously crowded, but now it’s slow-rolling in the left lane, and the blinker is on.

Go around, ya hot-rodding whippersnappers!

Go around, ya hot-rodding whippersnappers!

-          Senator Kamala Harris’s (D-CA) Presidential ambitions are helping to shine a light on her past behavior.  The former Attorney General of California has recently come under fire for bragging about smoking pot despite her record of aggressively prosecuting marijuana offenders during her stint as AG.  Damn shame.  I’m just glad Tupac isn’t alive to see this. 

-          At CNN’s “town hall meeting” for Democratic Presidential candidate and Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar, the embattled Klobuchar excused her dictatorial abuse of staffers by claiming she only asks them to meet the same expectations she sets for herself.  Does that mean when she screws up, she pelts herself with office supplies?

-          Global warmists are warning California’s infrastructure may not be able to withstand a coming “ARkStorm,” or “Atmospheric River storm,” a cataclysmic weather event which floods the valleys of the Golden State every few hundred years or so.  Of course, they’re blaming “climate change;” although they haven’t explained what caused the previous iterations of the periodic weather events.  Was it dino SUVs?  My money’s on the Flintstone’s carbon footprint.

-          Liberals are abandoning the Jussie Smollett dumpster fire as quickly as they can come up with reasons why they shouldn’t be blamed for helping the little fraud start it.  With all the practice they’ve had getting out of their own messes, you’d think they’d be less terrible at it.  Hard not to notice liberal talking points age like bananas.

-          The Democrat/media complex is now warning people to wait for all the facts to come out before making any judgements about the Smollett debacle.  People who wear “MAGA” hats, the Covington kids, Justice Kavanaugh, the UVA Phi Kaps, Duke lacrosse team, and Paul Nungesser responded “Tell us about it."

-          According to anti-liberty activist David Hogg, “No one with a history of domestic violence should ever be able to purchase a firearm.”  He rambled on:  “The NRA disagrees with that because they want to sell more guns,” and “Because they profit off of mass shootings that cause gun sales to skyrocket.”  Sounds terrible, except that people with domestic violence convictions already can't buy guns, the NRA does not oppose that, the NRA does not sell guns – never has, and the NRA is a non-profit organization.   They’re like Planned Parenthood, except the NRA hasn't killed anyone.