Tuesday, March 19

And we’ll charge the whole thing to the Underhill’s American Express Card!

And we’ll charge the whole thing to the Underhill’s American Express Card!

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren kicked off her CNN “town hall” by declaring it is high time to "get rid of the electoral college." Warren was unconcerned with the likelihood that the move would obviate the votes of millions of Americans who don’t live in the overpopulated coastal areas.  The urbanites who can't function without their soy lattes, vegan cuisine and overpriced restaurants should handle the voting for the poor rubes who grow their food. Shorter Democrat Party: "We can't find an acceptable candidate, so we should definitely change the rules."

  • Warren plied the audience with the promise of free stuff, stating “If America wants to be a place of opportunity, then that means every kid must have the right to get an education without getting crushed by student loan debt.”  Warren, who fraudulently claimed Native American status to give her a leg up in the education department, neglected to mention that every kid dumb enough to borrow enough to buy a mid-sized family home in order to get a "gender studies" degree probably deserves to get crushed by student loan debt. At the very least, no one who would require Americans to subsidize stupid kids making stupid choices deserves to be President.

  • Among Warren’s competition, Robert “Beto” O’Rourke announced that he raised $6.1 million in the first 24 hours of his campaign. Which goes to prove: liberals and their money are soon parted.

  • Elsewhere in the Democrats’ 2020 field, Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) has officially hired left wing hate blogger David Sirota as his senior advisor and speechwriter.  Sirota, of course, is the same pundit who lauded “Hugo Chavez’s Economic Miracle” in Venezuela, and publicly hoped the Boston Marathon bomber turned out to be a “white American.”  Sanders 2020: F*ck you, America!

  • Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) is working hard to separate himself from the Democrat pack.  Booker clapped back at rivals like Sanders and Senator Kamala Harris (D-CA) for mocking marijuana users, whining their jokes perpetrate a “fraudulent stereotype.”  Sounds like it hits close to home for Booker; like maybe “T-Bone” never recovered from that nickel upstate.

  • And rumors are swirling that former Vice President Joe Biden may make an official announcement as early as next week, and may announce a running mate at the same time.  Speculation centers on failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, with whom Biden recently enjoyed a high-profile meeting.  Observers did note the potential difficulties surrounding Abrams, who is not only still refusing she lost the governor’s race, but may be exploring a Presidential run of her own.  If she’s already tied up with two imaginary jobs, how’s she gonna have time for a third?

  • CNN has been handed a Cronkite Award for the hastily arranged “Parkland Town Hall” ratings stunt.  Despite the forum being widely discredited for an almost show-trial like atmosphere, in which pro-liberty activist Dana Loesch was berated mercilessly while disgraced ex-Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel was provided cover for his institutionalization of cowardice, the University of Southern California’s Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism lauded the debacle for its efforts to "advance the national conversation on gun control and violence.” Inciting a mob to blame the wrong people. I had no idea they gave awards for that.  What’s next, Scott Israel for President?

  • Fashionista Tom Ford found himself in a tailor-made controversy Tuesday when a crude remark about First Lady Melania Trump was falsely attributed to him.  The legendary designer quickly denied the quote.  He only dressed her once, in part because he doesn't like her husband's politics.  He only dressed Mrs. Obama once, because he doesn't make clothes for people shaped like overripe potatoes.