Thursday, April 25

“Our internet was two tin cans tied together.”

“Our internet was two tin cans tied together.”

  • Hey-ho, here’s Joe!  Former Vice President Joe Biden finally made his 2020 campaign for President official, breaking the news in a video announcement.  With Biden in the race, the Democrats are now looking at a field led by two white guys older than color television.  The only coding done when these guys started was Morse.

  • Biden is facing some bumps.  Apparently, a white, male, millionaire with a track record of sexual aggression isn’t the savior the Democrats’ new socialist leadership is hoping for.  Sorry Joe, but the part of Bill Clinton has already been cast.

  • But Biden also has some help.  Celebrity lawyer Michael Avenatti, who was a potential rival for the Democrats’ 2020 nomination, proudly gave Biden his endorsement.  While a disgraced attorney might not bring Biden much help, he does give him an inside track to some of his famous friends, like Brian Stelter.  The all-important “CNN pundit” vote.

  • Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tried to grab the spotlight this week by taking on – America’s veterans?  The communist cutie reacted to serious veterans’ complaints about the quality of care provided by the Veterans’ Administration by railing against what she calls a “lobbyist-friendly campaign to trash the VA.”  Who better than a 29 year old whose most intense combat experience was facing the crowd on 2-for-1 craft brew night to explain to actual combat veterans that she knows the VA better than they do.

  • On the same day Texas executed white supremacist John William King for the brutal murder of James Byrd, Jr., Senator Bernie Sanders reiterated his demand that convicted murderers be allowed to vote, even calling restrictions “racist.”  Sure Bernie; say, you wanna go tell Byrd’s family that King is a victim of racism, or nah?

  • Baltimore Mayor Catherine Pugh is facing renewed calls for her resignation, following a federal search of her homes and office in relation to the scandal surrounding sales of her children’s books.  Pugh, who has been on leave since the scandal broke, is still promising to return to City Hall.  Like all good Democrats, it’ll be in handcuffs.