Tuesday, May 22

There’s 1/1024 chance that this will work.

There’s 1/1024 chance that this will work.

Senator Elizabeth Warren is back to promoting her plan to pay off the student loan debt of most Americans who carry it.  Her plan calls for a penalty on the most successful, which would then be used to fund “gender studies” degrees.  Majoring in something useful, and then working hard, is for suckers.

California Governor Gavin Newsom called the growing homelessness crisis plaguing California a “national disgrace,” and announced that he is launching a task force to find solutions.  Gee, I wonder what could have caused a super-liberal state, run for generations by super-liberal people, to encounter the same problems which crop up in every super-liberal place?  It’s a real head-scratcher, and Newsom is gonna get to the bottom of it with a panel of more super-liberals – just as soon as they can get to the mystery machine without stepping in piles of poo and needles.

After an exhaustive investigation, the law firm McGuireWoods announced they were unable to determine whether a picture in the 1984 Eastern Virginia Medical School yearbook depicting one man in blackface and another in KKK garb does include Virginia Governor Ralph Northam.  The picture which was taken, selected, approved, published, admitted to, and then denied by Northam could be of someone else.  It was the early 80s.  Everyone was taking blackface and Klan pics!

Remember when the Democrats campaigned on Republicans’ refusal to address America’s infrastructure? Well, I guess they’re not that worried about it, since they’re shelving plans for improvement until they’re finished investigating President Donald Trump.  They’re holding your bridges and highways hostage just to hassle the President.  If I get hurt because the bridge is out, can I hire Robert Mueller to sue Nancy Pelosi?

Celebrity lawyer Michael Avenatti isn’t a candidate for federal office, but he might be one for federal prison.  The CNN favorite has been indicted on multiple counts of financial crimes related to his representation of porn star Stormy Daniels. I hope someone hid all the sharp objects at CNN; and put Stelter on suicide watch.

Just weeks after polling as high as 12%, Democrat Presidential aspirant Robert “Beto” O’Rourke has dropped down to also-ran status, with experts now predicting his flagging campaign may not even make it to the Iowa Caucuses.  Tens of people are devastated; slightly fewer if you don’t count his dog.

Democrats opened the day jeering at Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson for mishearing a question about Real Estate Owned (REOs) and thinking he was being asked about Oreo cookies.  According to the left, Carson’s bumble proves not that he didn’t hear the question, but that he’s an idiot.  The world-renowned neurosurgeon is stupid.  Sure, that’s probably it.

The Mueller investigation didn’t pan out the way they hoped, so the Democrats have jumped to plan “b”: continuing to accuse President Donald Trump of covering up impeachable offenses.  Trump finally hit his limit Wednesday, denouncing their endless witch hunts in a Rose Garden presser.  Imma say it: I’m surprised he let it go on this long.  I’d have been throwing bricks by now.