Avenatti

Thursday, April 11

“Sisters before misters!” “Especially the Jewish ones.”

“Sisters before misters!” “Especially the Jewish ones.”

  • After Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) faced backlash for telling islamofascist hate group CAIR that 9-11 was just “some people did something,” she has picked up some allies.  No surprise that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has led the Democrats’ charge to defend the anti-Semitic Somali immigrant.  Who better to defend an islamofascist than a communist?  Che’ wasn’t available, so Chiquita Khrushchev is the next logical choice.

  • Ocasio-Cortez also sounded the alarm over criticism of her sister-in-arms, claiming it “puts me in danger every time.”  Sounds scary.  Gee, I wonder what Steve Scalise, Kate Steinle and the victims of anti-Semitic terrorism worldwide might have to say on this topic.

  • Celebrity lawyer and CNN poster boy Michael Avenatti has been charged in a 36-count federal indictment alleging – among other things – he bilked a mentally ill, paraplegic client out of millions of dollars. Dude even makes other ambulance chasers look like Atticus Finch.

  • As Attorney General William Barr hints at opening an investigation into potential Obama-era federal government spying on then-candidate Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign, liberals are furious – over the use of the word “spying.”  Among those leading the word-parsing platoon: Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), who demanded Barr “retract” the characterization.  Blumenthal did not address the fact that there's more evidence of Obama-era spying on Trump's 2016 campaign than there is of his service in Vietnam.

  • Blumenthal was joined in the peanut gallery by disgraced ex-FBI honcho James Comey, who explained he “never thought of” electronically surveilling someone without their knowledge as “spying.”  Sure Jimmy; and boosting a car is really just “borrowing” it. 

  • After 8 years of exile in Ecuador’s London, England, embassy, Wikilieaks founder Julian Assange was bounced from his digs, and into the waiting arms of London’s finest.  The activist was ostensibly arrested for violating the terms of his bail, but faces potential extradition to Sweden on sexual assault charges, and the United States on espionage charges related to helping disgraced ex-Army private Bradley “Chelsea” Manning’s attempts to hack Department of Defense computers.  Love Assange or loathe him, you have to admit: he’d make an even uglier girl than Manning.

  • Obama Administration White House Counsel Greg Craig has been indicted on multiple counts by a federal grand jury.  Craig is charged with lying to Special Counsel Robert Mueller about work he did on behalf of the government of the Ukraine.  Looks like there was collusion, after all.  The Democrats were just off by one country, and one President. 

  • The Democrat Party’s 2019 retreat set in the luxe Landsdowne Resort in Virginia this week.  The theme: “Fighting for the people.”  Among the panelists, celebrity super couple Crissy Teigan and John Legend.  A bunch of people who knock down a minimum of 6 figures per year, chilling with supermodels and chart-topping singers, at a resort that costs more per night than most Americans make in a week.  Maybe “Fighting the people,” would make more sense.

Monday, March 25

There’s always personal injury law.  I hear Avenatti’s firm is looking for bodies.

There’s always personal injury law. I hear Avenatti’s firm is looking for bodies.

According to the summary delivered to Congress by Attorney General William Barr, the full report by  Special Counsel Robert Mueller exonerates the President of claims he and/or his people colluded with Russian agents to rig the 2016 election. The Democrats have asked Americans to respect their grief and privacy during this difficult time.

Now we finally have an answer to the age-old question: "How many Russians does it take to win an election over Hillary Clinton?"  To quote Dean Wormer from the movie Animal House: “Zero. Point. Zero.”

As expected, the Democrats aren’t giving up hope.  Senator Mazie Hirono (D-HI) gave voice to their dreams: “Just because there was not enough evidence for a criminal charge of conspiracy does not mean that there’s [not] a very cozy relationship that Donald Trump has with Vladimir Putin.”  Sure, Maize; just because we can't see your imaginary friend does not mean that she's not standing here with you.

Who can blame the left for their increasingly desperate attempts to keep their “Trump-Russia” narrative alive? Without Mueller to load their 2020 cannon, they’re left to choose between anti-Semitism, infanticide, or the always-popular communism.   

MSNBC morning comedian Joe Scarborough cautioned liberals to move on, reminding them that it’s “GOOD NEWS for America when someone as respected as Robert Mueller takes two years to methodically determine that the sitting president of the United States did not conspire with Russia. Take a breath.”  When Joe Scarborough is the smartest guy in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Celebrity lawyer Michael Avenatti’s 15 minutes are apparently up.  The combative attorney, who CNN pundit Brian Stelter once identified as a “serious contender” for the Democrats’ 2020 nomination, has been arrested for his role in what Federal authorities are calling a conspiracy to extort $20 million from the Nike corporation.  You know who I feel bad for? The poor bastard who gets stuck w/ Michael Avenatti as a cellmate.  Imagine being stuck in a 6x with that gibbering buffoon.

Democrats were aghast as Israel began an operation to clear Hamas terrorists from sites in the Gaza Strip.  A terrorist group has been shelling them from their own attic.  Can’t blame them for calling the exterminator.