Chiquita Khrushchev

Wednesday, April 24

“She the People? How about you and me the people?”

“She the People? How about you and me the people?”

Maybe tomorrow? Former Vice President Joe Biden was all set to announce his 2020 Presidential campaign, but evidently moved the big day back to avoid the liberal “She the People” Democratic Presidential candidate forum.  According to the Biden campaign, he was worried his announcement would “overshadow” the “women of color” event.  Also, he didn’t want to miss out on a chance to sniff all.  That.  Hair. 

Democrats are furious that the Census bureau plans to ask about respondents’ citizenship in the 2020 decennial count.  Apparently, they think the tally of the people in the US shouldn’t ask people how they came to be in the US.  Just because it’s Constitutionally-mandated doesn’t mean it’s “woke.”

Former Hillary Clinton minion Brian Fallon isn’t happy that the Supreme Court may approve the addition of the citizenship question on the census form, tweeting his displeasure: “(taps mic) We need court reform.”  Sure Bri; (taps mic) you’re about to get it. (looks over at doddering Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg).

The Democrats continued trying to keep the “Russian collusion” narrative alive this week; although their choice of narrators might need some work.  Failed 2016 candidate Hillary Clinton penned an op-ed for the Washington Post in which she claimed “any other person who had engaged in” acts of which Trump is clearly not guilty “would certainly have been indicted.”  Considering the old girl is still on this side of prison, I’m not sure “any other person” would have been.

As the Democratic Presidential field expands, the candidates are stepping up their pandering game.  Longshot Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) SPOILER ALERT: “I'm a white man. I know where I can't speak to someone else's experience and I pledge to: 1️⃣ Pass the mic 2️⃣ Ask a woman to serve as VP.” If Nuke-boy was really “woke,” he’d pass the mic permanently, and ask a woman to take his place.

Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) told the liberal “She the People” forum that global warming remains a huge threat: “Asthma rates in communities like mine are significantly higher than rich, suburban areas. As President, I’ll make sure we fight for environmental justice, clean air, clean water, and the urgencies of climate change. We will rejoin the Paris Accords.“  Booker 2020: Make America Newark Again.

Liberal hate blog Huffington Post wants to know “Did Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's stunning victory in the 2018 midterms teach us that anyone can run for Congress?”  Chiquita Khrushchev inspired fewer than 20% of her district to show up at all on Election Day, and beat a zero of an opponent, in a district that even Nancy Pelosi said could be won by a “glass of water with a ‘D’ next to it.”  As long as their opponent is a potted plant, and 85% of the district can't be bothered to show up at the polls, sure!

Monday, April 22

Be on the lookout for “some people.”

Be on the lookout for “some people.”

  • Terrorism struck Sri Lanka over the weekend, as muslim extremists bombed churches and hotels, targeting Christians celebrating the Resurrection.  For Easter? They really shouldn’t have.  At least now we know what to get them for Ramadan this year.

  • While the attacks, which killed hundreds and injured hundreds more, were roundly condemned across the globe, the Democrat/media complex worked hard to obscure key facts about both the perpetrators and the victims.  Observers couldn’t help but notice news reports mentioned neither the Islamic religion of the bombers, nor the Christian identities of their targets.  It’s the Ilhan Omar style of reporting: “some people did something in Sri Lanka.”

  • Outrage from all sides as Broward County, FL Sheriff’s deputies were caught on video brutally subduing a young black man who had apparently done nothing wrong.  Remember when the same guys hid in the bushes while the Parkland massacre went down?  Hey liberals: hate to say we told you so, but..

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren tried dealing her fading campaign back into the 2020 game, announcing a plan to use the taxpayer’s credit card to pay off nearly 95% of all Americans’ student loan debt, make college “universal” and “free,” and pay for it with tax increases on the American people.  Gonna charge snowflakes’ “gender studies” degrees to John Q. Public’s American Express Card.  There’s a winning plan.

  • The “Green New Deal” may be dead, but New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio is trying to reanimate its corpse in the Big Apple.  DeBlasio told the MSNBC morning gabfest Morning Joe “We’re going to ban the classic glass and steel skyscrapers, which are incredibly inefficient.”  DeBlasio also promised million dollar fines for building owners who drag their feet rebuilding their structures.  I know he’s the mayor of New York City, but has this guy ever seen New York City?

  • Media outlets have begun casting Special Counsel Robert Mueller as part of some nebulous conspiracy to shield President Donald Trump, even harassing Mueller and his wife as they tried to leave Easter Sunday service at their church.  Guess the left’s love affair with Mueller is over.  And I thought those kids had a real chance.

  • Coming soon to Netflix: Knock Down the House, a documentary about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other feminists’ 2016 House campaigns.  Just a small fee, and you can enjoy a few hours of Chiquita Khrushchev and the junior Politburo talking about themselves.  Or you could scoop out your own appendix with a melon baller.  You still have freedom of choice – for now.

  • And, just because the Mueller Report didn’t deliver them Trump’s head on a platter doesn’t mean the Democrats can’t still dream.  The New York Times ran an op-ed this morning, calling for Trump’s impeachment.  You can beat that horse all you want, libs.  Hell, you can even saddle it up.  It’s still dead.

Monday, April 15

Words are insufficient.

Words are insufficient.

  • Tragedy struck civilization as fire engulfed the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.  Although parts of the structure appear to have survived, the damage to the nearly 800 year-old structure is catastrophic.  No punchline; it’s just sad.

  • Tax Day 2019 arrived, and with it, liberal heavyweights’ incorrect assertions about how it works.  Outlets from the New York Times to Alyssa Milano shrieked bloody murder over the fact that many Americans’ refunds are down this year, a change they “blamed” on the GOP tax cut.  Far be it for me to correct an esteemed economist like Sam from "Who's the Boss," but the refunds are down because Americans overpaid less, thanks entirely to the GOP tax cut. 

  • Liberals ginned up the outrage meter as Attorney General William Barr is expected to release a redacted version of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report as early as Thursday.  The left is already floating the conspiracy theory that the redactions will obscure any evidence of wrongdoing by President Donald Trump.  Since Mueller himself approved the redactions, I guess this means he’s off their Christmas card list.

  • South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg may be running for President in the wrong country.  Buttigieg whined to a small gathering that the United States isn’t “much of a democracy when twice in my lifetime, the Electoral College has overruled the American people…"  The United States isn’t a Democracy at all; it’s a republic.  I thought this guy was a Rhodes Scholar?

  • Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) may not have much of a Presidential campaign, he appears committed to destroying what campaign he does have.  The rabid anti-liberty candidate expanded his plan to confiscate legally-owned firearms to include imprisoning legal firearm owners who resist his government overreach.  If the Democrats nominate Nuke-boy, even BARRON Trump could beat him.

  • Among those racing to defend anti-Semitic Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN): anti-liberty activist David Hogg.  Hogg, infamous for exploiting the Parkland attack for fame and fortune, asked “Can we take a moment to think about how triggering the video trump posted for the thousands of people that lost someone they knew in 9/11?”  Gee Junior, what's more "triggering;" someone dismissing 9-11 as "something," or a video of them doing it?

  • An intramural fight has broken out inside the Democrat Party.  After dismissing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s branch of her party as “like, 5 people,”  House Speaker Nancy Pelosi delivered another spanking, suggesting Chiquita Khrushchev isn’t quite the groundbreaker she thinks she is, claiming: “A glass of water with a ‘D’ next to its name” could have won NY-14.  A glass of water might even have inspired more than 15% of the district’s voters to bother going to the polls.

Thursday, April 11

“Sisters before misters!” “Especially the Jewish ones.”

“Sisters before misters!” “Especially the Jewish ones.”

  • After Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) faced backlash for telling islamofascist hate group CAIR that 9-11 was just “some people did something,” she has picked up some allies.  No surprise that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has led the Democrats’ charge to defend the anti-Semitic Somali immigrant.  Who better to defend an islamofascist than a communist?  Che’ wasn’t available, so Chiquita Khrushchev is the next logical choice.

  • Ocasio-Cortez also sounded the alarm over criticism of her sister-in-arms, claiming it “puts me in danger every time.”  Sounds scary.  Gee, I wonder what Steve Scalise, Kate Steinle and the victims of anti-Semitic terrorism worldwide might have to say on this topic.

  • Celebrity lawyer and CNN poster boy Michael Avenatti has been charged in a 36-count federal indictment alleging – among other things – he bilked a mentally ill, paraplegic client out of millions of dollars. Dude even makes other ambulance chasers look like Atticus Finch.

  • As Attorney General William Barr hints at opening an investigation into potential Obama-era federal government spying on then-candidate Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign, liberals are furious – over the use of the word “spying.”  Among those leading the word-parsing platoon: Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), who demanded Barr “retract” the characterization.  Blumenthal did not address the fact that there's more evidence of Obama-era spying on Trump's 2016 campaign than there is of his service in Vietnam.

  • Blumenthal was joined in the peanut gallery by disgraced ex-FBI honcho James Comey, who explained he “never thought of” electronically surveilling someone without their knowledge as “spying.”  Sure Jimmy; and boosting a car is really just “borrowing” it. 

  • After 8 years of exile in Ecuador’s London, England, embassy, Wikilieaks founder Julian Assange was bounced from his digs, and into the waiting arms of London’s finest.  The activist was ostensibly arrested for violating the terms of his bail, but faces potential extradition to Sweden on sexual assault charges, and the United States on espionage charges related to helping disgraced ex-Army private Bradley “Chelsea” Manning’s attempts to hack Department of Defense computers.  Love Assange or loathe him, you have to admit: he’d make an even uglier girl than Manning.

  • Obama Administration White House Counsel Greg Craig has been indicted on multiple counts by a federal grand jury.  Craig is charged with lying to Special Counsel Robert Mueller about work he did on behalf of the government of the Ukraine.  Looks like there was collusion, after all.  The Democrats were just off by one country, and one President. 

  • The Democrat Party’s 2019 retreat set in the luxe Landsdowne Resort in Virginia this week.  The theme: “Fighting for the people.”  Among the panelists, celebrity super couple Crissy Teigan and John Legend.  A bunch of people who knock down a minimum of 6 figures per year, chilling with supermodels and chart-topping singers, at a resort that costs more per night than most Americans make in a week.  Maybe “Fighting the people,” would make more sense.

The WIRE!

From Trump out loud to farting cows, and most points in between, it’s time for a look back at the week that was.  The Last Stop on the Right™ presents your Week In Review!  It’s time to check the WIRE!

Whether you like him or loathe him, you have to admit President Donald Trump flat killed it at the State of the Union address.  Especially the moment when he had the House Democratic women standing up on cue, “don’t sit yet, you’re going to like this.”

Yes! Dance for me, my beauties! DANCE!

Yes! Dance for me, my beauties! DANCE!

The House Democrat women wore white to show solidarity with strong and independent women of the past.  Because nothing says “strong and independent” like dressing up in the same outfits and applauding on cue.

Wait! Which one am I, strong, or independent?

Wait! Which one am I, strong, or independent?

State of the Union points the “Women in White” did NOT applaud:

- ending sex trafficking

- ending narcoterrorist exploitation of unsecured borders

- ending infanticide

- ending a 19-year old war

State of the Union points they did applaud:

- themselves (at Trump's urging)

Yay me!

Yay me!

The speech was generally regarded as a hit for Trump, while House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was criticized for her bizarrely distracting behavior, including apparently working her dentures like a moose with a mouthful of molasses, and randomly shuffling what appeared to be blank sheets of paper.

Dammit! I KNEW I should have learned to read!

Dammit! I KNEW I should have learned to read!

The Democrats’ official response to the State of the Union was delivered by failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, who eschewed Trump’s message of optimism to instead blast Trump, whine about past electoral defeats and tell weird stories about her father’s commute.

Her old man sounded like a nice guy. What the hell happened to her?

Her old man sounded like a nice guy. What the hell happened to her?

That feeling when both your House and Senate bosses are giving a standing “o” to “America will never be a socialist country.”

“I’m just glad my boy Stalin isn’t alive to see this.”  “Who?”

“I’m just glad my boy Stalin isn’t alive to see this.”

“Who?”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wasn’t taking the repudiation of communism lying down, though.  She introduced a resolution this week for her “Green New Deal,” a call for the government to take over an even bigger percentage of the economy, crush the energy industry, and even dictate what jobs people can have.

In Chiquita Khrushchev’s America, job chooses YOU!

In Chiquita Khrushchev’s America, job chooses YOU!

The “Green New Deal” bans fossil fuels, but requires massive new tech advances. Those can't happen without plastics and miniaturization. And plastics and miniaturization can't happen without fossil fuels.  Leave it to the communists to make themselves obsolete. It’s really the only thing they’ve ever been good at.

Besides oppression and bread lines.

Besides oppression and bread lines.

It also bans internal combustion engines and “farting cows,” while demanding major increases in farming output.  Check out the Green New Deal farming equipment.

To get one, you have to apply for a “farting cow” exemption.

To get one, you have to apply for a “farting cow” exemption.

All three of the top elected officials in Virginia are facing allegations of racist and rape, all within a few days.  Last time Virginia Democrats took a beating like this, Robert E. Lee had to make an unscheduled stop in Appomattox.

Chin up, Bobby! Give it 150 or so years, and you can be Governor!

Chin up, Bobby! Give it 150 or so years, and you can be Governor!

From our “Karma is a mother” files: Just days after he endorsed and defended infanticide, including promising newborn infants would be “kept comfortable” while mom and Dr. Mengele decide whether to let it live, or sell it for scrap, Governor Ralph Northam finds himself struggling to carry his Governorship to full term.

Hopefully, he’ll be “kept comfortable” while they decide his fate.

Hopefully, he’ll be “kept comfortable” while they decide his fate.

With Northam and Attorney General Mark Herring facing charges of racism for wearing blackface, and Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax embroiled in a sexual assault scandal, the Virginia Democrats may be looking at losing all 3 of the top positions in VA’s state government.

Fun choice for Virginia: go with the racists, or the rapist?

Fun choice for Virginia: go with the racists, or the rapist?

Senator Elizabeth Warren’s run for the roses went awry this week when a newly-discovered copy of her registration for the Texas bar was unearthed, on which the embattled Senator filled the “race” section with “American Indian.”  Looks her campaign is scalped.

She better Hopi no one decides to Sioux her.

She better Hopi no one decides to Sioux her.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the formation of a House Select Committee on the Climate Crisis.  The past winner of Planned Parenthood’s Margaret Sanger Award explained the need for the group, declaring “We have a moral responsibility to protect God’s creation for generations to come..”

Tell me about it, abortion-lady.

Tell me about it, abortion-lady.

Meet Connecticut State Representative Jillian Gilchrest.  She thinks the best way to prevent so-called “gun violence” is to impose a 50% tax on ammunition sales.  Charging a user fee for the Bill of Rights? That’s an interesting take.

What do the “poors” need with civil liberties, anyway?

What do the “poors” need with civil liberties, anyway?

Failed Texas Senate candidate Robert “Beto” O’Rourke has plans for the future, he just isn’t sure what they are yet.  The former Congressman from the Lone Star State told interviewer Oprah Winfrey this week “I'm increasingly excited about doing something.."  Like what – lose another election?  Flee the scene of another DUI accident?

How about a trip to FurryCon?

How about a trip to FurryCon?

And that’s your week in review!  For the Last Stop on the Right,  I’m Ben Crystal saying “always check The WIRE!”