Elizabeth Warren

Tuesday, April 23

1/1024 of my ideas are good.

1/1024 of my ideas are good.

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren is campaigning on free stuff for everyone.  The Massachusetts Democrat announced her administration would make healthcare and pre-K through college free, and would charge off Americans’ student loan debt, all by imposing a “2% tax on the wealthiest families in the country.”  For those of you who remember the 80s, that’s known as the “Underhill’s American Express Card” school of economics.  For those of you who remember anything, it’s known as “theft.”

  • While Warren plans to give away the house, Bernie Sanders has some interesting ideas as to whom to give it to.  The near-octogenarian communist from Vermont wants to ensure convicted felons and terrorists get their chance to dine at the taxpayer trough; informing the audience for CNN’s latest Democratic candidate forum that he thinks denying votes to people like the Boston Marathon bomber and the white supremacist who murdered 9 people in Charleston, S.C. is “suppression.”  As opposed to what they did, which is a lot more than just “suppressing votes.”

  • Senator Kamala Harris has her own plan to appeal to liberal voters.  The former California Attorney General – and current gun owner – says if she’s elected, she’ll give Congress “100 days..to get their act together and have the courage to pass reasonable gun safety laws, and if they fail to do it, then I will take executive action."  Her first executive action would need to be suspending the separation of powers, which will go about as well as her second one suspending the Bill of Rights. 

  • The watchdog group Judicial Watch announced Assistant FBI Director Bill Priestap told them while under oath that the bureau discovered nearly 50,000 emails Hillary Clinton tried to destroy, and they found them in the Executive Office of President Obama. The revelation disproves both Clinton’s protestations of innocence, and Obama’s claim that he only learned of her illegal communications through “news reports.”  “But her emails” reveal there was a lot more than “a smidgen of corruption” in the Obama administration.

  • The Washington Post is worried that there may be consequences from Sunday’s islamofascist bomb attack on Christians in Sri Lanka.  The Post fretted that the “Sri Lanka church bombings stoke far-right anger in the West.”  Freakin' far-right wingers, always <checks notes> angry at terrorists who bomb churches.

  • Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced he intends to introduce a resolution naming a new town in the Golan Heights for President Trump.  And that, my friends, is how you own the libs.

  • Disgraced actor Jussie Smollett may be headed back to court.  The Osundairo brothers, whom Smollett paid to help him stage the now-infamous January hoax, have retained counsel, and are going to sue Smollett and his attorneys for defamation.  Damn Jussie.  That’s turning out to be one expensive Subway sandwich.

Monday, April 22

Be on the lookout for “some people.”

Be on the lookout for “some people.”

  • Terrorism struck Sri Lanka over the weekend, as muslim extremists bombed churches and hotels, targeting Christians celebrating the Resurrection.  For Easter? They really shouldn’t have.  At least now we know what to get them for Ramadan this year.

  • While the attacks, which killed hundreds and injured hundreds more, were roundly condemned across the globe, the Democrat/media complex worked hard to obscure key facts about both the perpetrators and the victims.  Observers couldn’t help but notice news reports mentioned neither the Islamic religion of the bombers, nor the Christian identities of their targets.  It’s the Ilhan Omar style of reporting: “some people did something in Sri Lanka.”

  • Outrage from all sides as Broward County, FL Sheriff’s deputies were caught on video brutally subduing a young black man who had apparently done nothing wrong.  Remember when the same guys hid in the bushes while the Parkland massacre went down?  Hey liberals: hate to say we told you so, but..

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren tried dealing her fading campaign back into the 2020 game, announcing a plan to use the taxpayer’s credit card to pay off nearly 95% of all Americans’ student loan debt, make college “universal” and “free,” and pay for it with tax increases on the American people.  Gonna charge snowflakes’ “gender studies” degrees to John Q. Public’s American Express Card.  There’s a winning plan.

  • The “Green New Deal” may be dead, but New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio is trying to reanimate its corpse in the Big Apple.  DeBlasio told the MSNBC morning gabfest Morning Joe “We’re going to ban the classic glass and steel skyscrapers, which are incredibly inefficient.”  DeBlasio also promised million dollar fines for building owners who drag their feet rebuilding their structures.  I know he’s the mayor of New York City, but has this guy ever seen New York City?

  • Media outlets have begun casting Special Counsel Robert Mueller as part of some nebulous conspiracy to shield President Donald Trump, even harassing Mueller and his wife as they tried to leave Easter Sunday service at their church.  Guess the left’s love affair with Mueller is over.  And I thought those kids had a real chance.

  • Coming soon to Netflix: Knock Down the House, a documentary about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and other feminists’ 2016 House campaigns.  Just a small fee, and you can enjoy a few hours of Chiquita Khrushchev and the junior Politburo talking about themselves.  Or you could scoop out your own appendix with a melon baller.  You still have freedom of choice – for now.

  • And, just because the Mueller Report didn’t deliver them Trump’s head on a platter doesn’t mean the Democrats can’t still dream.  The New York Times ran an op-ed this morning, calling for Trump’s impeachment.  You can beat that horse all you want, libs.  Hell, you can even saddle it up.  It’s still dead.

The WIRE!

From Trump out loud to farting cows, and most points in between, it’s time for a look back at the week that was.  The Last Stop on the Right™ presents your Week In Review!  It’s time to check the WIRE!

Whether you like him or loathe him, you have to admit President Donald Trump flat killed it at the State of the Union address.  Especially the moment when he had the House Democratic women standing up on cue, “don’t sit yet, you’re going to like this.”

Yes! Dance for me, my beauties! DANCE!

Yes! Dance for me, my beauties! DANCE!

The House Democrat women wore white to show solidarity with strong and independent women of the past.  Because nothing says “strong and independent” like dressing up in the same outfits and applauding on cue.

Wait! Which one am I, strong, or independent?

Wait! Which one am I, strong, or independent?

State of the Union points the “Women in White” did NOT applaud:

- ending sex trafficking

- ending narcoterrorist exploitation of unsecured borders

- ending infanticide

- ending a 19-year old war

State of the Union points they did applaud:

- themselves (at Trump's urging)

Yay me!

Yay me!

The speech was generally regarded as a hit for Trump, while House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was criticized for her bizarrely distracting behavior, including apparently working her dentures like a moose with a mouthful of molasses, and randomly shuffling what appeared to be blank sheets of paper.

Dammit! I KNEW I should have learned to read!

Dammit! I KNEW I should have learned to read!

The Democrats’ official response to the State of the Union was delivered by failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, who eschewed Trump’s message of optimism to instead blast Trump, whine about past electoral defeats and tell weird stories about her father’s commute.

Her old man sounded like a nice guy. What the hell happened to her?

Her old man sounded like a nice guy. What the hell happened to her?

That feeling when both your House and Senate bosses are giving a standing “o” to “America will never be a socialist country.”

“I’m just glad my boy Stalin isn’t alive to see this.”  “Who?”

“I’m just glad my boy Stalin isn’t alive to see this.”

“Who?”

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wasn’t taking the repudiation of communism lying down, though.  She introduced a resolution this week for her “Green New Deal,” a call for the government to take over an even bigger percentage of the economy, crush the energy industry, and even dictate what jobs people can have.

In Chiquita Khrushchev’s America, job chooses YOU!

In Chiquita Khrushchev’s America, job chooses YOU!

The “Green New Deal” bans fossil fuels, but requires massive new tech advances. Those can't happen without plastics and miniaturization. And plastics and miniaturization can't happen without fossil fuels.  Leave it to the communists to make themselves obsolete. It’s really the only thing they’ve ever been good at.

Besides oppression and bread lines.

Besides oppression and bread lines.

It also bans internal combustion engines and “farting cows,” while demanding major increases in farming output.  Check out the Green New Deal farming equipment.

To get one, you have to apply for a “farting cow” exemption.

To get one, you have to apply for a “farting cow” exemption.

All three of the top elected officials in Virginia are facing allegations of racism and rape, all within a few days.  Last time Virginia Democrats took a beating like this, Robert E. Lee had to make an unscheduled stop in Appomattox.

Chin up, Bobby! Give it 150 or so years, and you can be Governor!

Chin up, Bobby! Give it 150 or so years, and you can be Governor!

From our “Karma is a mother” files: Just days after he endorsed and defended infanticide, including promising newborn infants would be “kept comfortable” while mom and Dr. Mengele decide whether to let it live, or sell it for scrap, Governor Ralph Northam finds himself struggling to carry his Governorship to full term.

Hopefully, he’ll be “kept comfortable” while they decide his fate.

Hopefully, he’ll be “kept comfortable” while they decide his fate.

With Northam and Attorney General Mark Herring facing charges of racism for wearing blackface, and Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax embroiled in a sexual assault scandal, the Virginia Democrats may be looking at losing all 3 of the top positions in VA’s state government.

Fun choice for Virginia: go with the racists, or the rapist?

Fun choice for Virginia: go with the racists, or the rapist?

Senator Elizabeth Warren’s run for the roses went awry this week when a newly-discovered copy of her registration for the Texas bar was unearthed, on which the embattled Senator filled the “race” section with “American Indian.”  Looks her campaign is scalped.

She better Hopi no one decides to Sioux her.

She better Hopi no one decides to Sioux her.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the formation of a House Select Committee on the Climate Crisis.  The past winner of Planned Parenthood’s Margaret Sanger Award explained the need for the group, declaring “We have a moral responsibility to protect God’s creation for generations to come..”

Tell me about it, abortion-lady.

Tell me about it, abortion-lady.

Meet Connecticut State Representative Jillian Gilchrest.  She thinks the best way to prevent so-called “gun violence” is to impose a 50% tax on ammunition sales.  Charging a user fee for the Bill of Rights? That’s an interesting take.

What do the “poors” need with civil liberties, anyway?

What do the “poors” need with civil liberties, anyway?

Failed Texas Senate candidate Robert “Beto” O’Rourke has plans for the future, he just isn’t sure what they are yet.  The former Congressman from the Lone Star State told interviewer Oprah Winfrey this week “I'm increasingly excited about doing something.."  Like what – lose another election?  Flee the scene of another DUI accident?

How about a trip to FurryCon?

How about a trip to FurryCon?

And that’s your week in review!  For the Last Stop on the Right,  I’m Ben Crystal saying “always check The WIRE!”