Holder

Thursday, March 28

Stacey said “no.” What are you up to for the next few years?

Stacey said “no.” What are you up to for the next few years?

  • If you were hoping a Joe Biden/Stacey Abrams ticket would rescue the Democrats’ 2020 electoral hopes, your hopes may be dashed.  Abrams nixed the idea personally during an appearance on the tv gabfest “The View,” telling the audience “You don’t run for second place..If I’m going to enter a primary, then I’m going to enter a primary.”  Don’t cry, Democrats.  Don’t think of it as losing a ticket, think of it as gaining another loser. 

  • During his CNN “town hall,” Presidential candidate and New Jersey Senator Cory Booker regaled the carefully selected crowd with a variety of leftist applause lines, including this howler: “FACT: More Americans have been killed by guns than have lost their lives in all of our nation’s wars combined.”  CNN’s carefully selected host, liberal pundit Don Lemon, failed to correct Booker, so I will.  FACT: No human has ever been killed by guns.  Also a FACT: You're gonna lose, T-bone.

  • Booker also held forth on healthcare, pushing the liberal talking point of “Medicare for all”: "This is a broken system."  Odd, because I seem to remember Obama fixing it a few years back.

  • Creepy ex-porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has fallen a long way from his day as a contender for the Democrats’ 2020 nomination.  According to court records, Avenatti is "financially unable to employ counsel," and will rely on court-appointed, taxpayer-funded, counsel.  Avenatti wants us to believe he went from advertising on park benches to sleeping on one.

  • Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx’s attempts to slither out of the Jussie Smollett hoax are falling a little flat.  The embattled DA told an interviewer that her decision to allow Smollett to escape consequences for the hate crime hoax he tried to use to boost his salary is an example of what she called “alternative prosecution.”  Yeah, that sounds way better than “letting him off because he’s rich, gay, black man with powerful friends.”

  • But Foxx has nothing on Smollett's attorney, Tina Glandian.  Glandian told the “Today Show” that the alleged attackers may have been “wearing whiteface.”  Chicago PD immediately issued a BOLO alert for invisible mimes.

  • Disgraced ex-Attorney General Eric Holder not only doesn’t like the direction of the country, he never did. The convicted liar told liberal talking points outlet MSNBC that he’d like to hear Trump supporters explain "Exactly when did you think America was great?" But Mr. Fast’n’Furious didn’t anticipate some of the responses, notable Vice President Mike Pence, who noted Washington crossing the Delaware, Iwo Jima, Dr. Martin Luther King’s Lincoln Memorial address, and the moon landing as examples of American greatness.  Damn! Last time I saw Holder get pwned like that, he got caught selling guns to the Sinaloa Cartel.

  • An overflow crowd of immigrants has overwhelmed Border Patrol personnel at the El Paso, Texas station, forcing them to temporarily house people in the station’s parking lot.  The move has drawn outrage from liberal amnesty activists like anti-Semitic Rep. Ilhan Omar, who called it “a reflection of what white nationalism is doing to our country.”  Omar failed to explain how “white nationalists” lured people to the border with empty promises, nor did she address the fact that she wouldn’t have cared if they replaced the immigrants with Jews.