Mueller

Monday, March 25

There’s always personal injury law.  I hear Avenatti’s firm is looking for bodies.

There’s always personal injury law. I hear Avenatti’s firm is looking for bodies.

According to the summary delivered to Congress by Attorney General William Barr, the full report by  Special Counsel Robert Mueller exonerates the President of claims he and/or his people colluded with Russian agents to rig the 2016 election. The Democrats have asked Americans to respect their grief and privacy during this difficult time.

Now we finally have an answer to the age-old question: "How many Russians does it take to win an election over Hillary Clinton?"  To quote Dean Wormer from the movie Animal House: “Zero. Point. Zero.”

As expected, the Democrats aren’t giving up hope.  Senator Mazie Hirono (D-HI) gave voice to their dreams: “Just because there was not enough evidence for a criminal charge of conspiracy does not mean that there’s [not] a very cozy relationship that Donald Trump has with Vladimir Putin.”  Sure, Maize; just because we can't see your imaginary friend does not mean that she's not standing here with you.

Who can blame the left for their increasingly desperate attempts to keep their “Trump-Russia” narrative alive? Without Mueller to load their 2020 cannon, they’re left to choose between anti-Semitism, infanticide, or the always-popular communism.   

MSNBC morning comedian Joe Scarborough cautioned liberals to move on, reminding them that it’s “GOOD NEWS for America when someone as respected as Robert Mueller takes two years to methodically determine that the sitting president of the United States did not conspire with Russia. Take a breath.”  When Joe Scarborough is the smartest guy in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Celebrity lawyer Michael Avenatti’s 15 minutes are apparently up.  The combative attorney, who CNN pundit Brian Stelter once identified as a “serious contender” for the Democrats’ 2020 nomination, has been arrested for his role in what Federal authorities are calling a conspiracy to extort $20 million from the Nike corporation.  You know who I feel bad for? The poor bastard who gets stuck w/ Michael Avenatti as a cellmate.  Imagine being stuck in a 6x with that gibbering buffoon.

Democrats were aghast as Israel began an operation to clear Hamas terrorists from sites in the Gaza Strip.  A terrorist group has been shelling them from their own attic.  Can’t blame them for calling the exterminator.

DEMS TRUMPED AS MUELLER INVESTIGATION EXONERATES PRESIDENT

How’s that $40 million nothingburger taste?

How’s that $40 million nothingburger taste?

US Attorney General William Barr has delivered to Congress and the media a summary of conclusions from the report by Special Counsel Robert Mueller.  According to the summary, no U.S. or Trump campaign officials knowingly conspired with Russia. Furthermore, the Justice Department determined “the investigation is not sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction-of-justice offense.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders called the findings “a total and complete exoneration of the President of the United States,” while President Donald Trump took his celebration to Twitter: “No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total EXONERATION. KEEP AMERICA GREAT!”

The report, issued after 2 years and nearly $40 million in taxpayer funds, comes as the Democratic Party is struggling with internal division, a perceived power struggle between older liberals and younger far-left radicals, and deals a hammer blow to their 2020 candidate field.