netanyahu

Tuesday, April 23

1/1024 of my ideas are good.

1/1024 of my ideas are good.

  • Senator Elizabeth Warren is campaigning on free stuff for everyone.  The Massachusetts Democrat announced her administration would make healthcare and pre-K through college free, and would charge off Americans’ student loan debt, all by imposing a “2% tax on the wealthiest families in the country.”  For those of you who remember the 80s, that’s known as the “Underhill’s American Express Card” school of economics.  For those of you who remember anything, it’s known as “theft.”

  • While Warren plans to give away the house, Bernie Sanders has some interesting ideas as to whom to give it to.  The near-octogenarian communist from Vermont wants to ensure convicted felons and terrorists get their chance to dine at the taxpayer trough; informing the audience for CNN’s latest Democratic candidate forum that he thinks denying votes to people like the Boston Marathon bomber and the white supremacist who murdered 9 people in Charleston, S.C. is “suppression.”  As opposed to what they did, which is a lot more than just “suppressing votes.”

  • Senator Kamala Harris has her own plan to appeal to liberal voters.  The former California Attorney General – and current gun owner – says if she’s elected, she’ll give Congress “100 days..to get their act together and have the courage to pass reasonable gun safety laws, and if they fail to do it, then I will take executive action."  Her first executive action would need to be suspending the separation of powers, which will go about as well as her second one suspending the Bill of Rights. 

  • The watchdog group Judicial Watch announced Assistant FBI Director Bill Priestap told them while under oath that the bureau discovered nearly 50,000 emails Hillary Clinton tried to destroy, and they found them in the Executive Office of President Obama. The revelation disproves both Clinton’s protestations of innocence, and Obama’s claim that he only learned of her illegal communications through “news reports.”  “But her emails” reveal there was a lot more than “a smidgen of corruption” in the Obama administration.

  • The Washington Post is worried that there may be consequences from Sunday’s islamofascist bomb attack on Christians in Sri Lanka.  The Post fretted that the “Sri Lanka church bombings stoke far-right anger in the West.”  Freakin' far-right wingers, always <checks notes> angry at terrorists who bomb churches.

  • Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced he intends to introduce a resolution naming a new town in the Golan Heights for President Trump.  And that, my friends, is how you own the libs.

  • Disgraced actor Jussie Smollett may be headed back to court.  The Osundairo brothers, whom Smollett paid to help him stage the now-infamous January hoax, have retained counsel, and are going to sue Smollett and his attorneys for defamation.  Damn Jussie.  That’s turning out to be one expensive Subway sandwich.