the daily show

Doing Time in Twitter Jail

As you’re reading this, the entire Democrat/media complex is trying to dig itself out of a spectacular self-own. Over the weekend, a group of liberal activists, led by Native American “elder” Nathan Phillips, harassed a group of high school children. A video of the confrontation went viral. However, the video was deceptively edited to make the kids from Covington Catholic High School in Park Hill, Kentucky, look like the aggressors. It wasn’t until that video had touched off a firestorm of hate from the liberal rage mob that a longer video of the same incident surfaced. The new video revealed Phillips, who has now been revealed to be a fraud in his own right, and his gang sought out and exacerbated the confrontation.

The revelation that the Covington kids were victims of a liberal scam arrived too late. Every leftist with access to a public forum shrieked bloody murder. Democrat Party heavyweights from Senator Elizabeth Warren to fading sitcom actress Alyssa Milano lambasted the high schoolers. Multiple celebrities led hordes of liberals in gleefully threatening the Covington kids’ safety. Trevor Noah, the comedian who replaced Jon Stewart as host of the Daily Show, declared - to a laughing audience - that “everyone wants to punch (the Covington students).” And that’s when I decided I’d had enough.

2 days of listening to everyone to the left of center ignoring established facts in order to justify violent fantasies about innocent children shredded my last nerve. So, I retorted to Noah “No..everyone wants to punch you. But since we’re not savages like your lib friends, we won’t. Hopefully. You do deserve it, though.”

For that, Twitter suspended me for a week. Silly me, forgetting the golden rule of the “woke” era: Fame + liberal = free pass to act like a savage. Twitter claims to have suspended me for “promoting violence.” Trevor Noah promoted violence - against wrongly accused children. I said I hoped no violence befalls unfunny replacement comedians. He's still tweeting stupid sh*t. I'm in the clink for a week. Bite me, Jack.